Okay, I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll go into a little more detail about Naturespace’s Holographic Audio app for the iPhone. Sorry if this sounds like an advertisement, because honestly I can point out a few things that really annoy me about the app — but in the area of attempting to WILD (wake initiated lucid dreaming), it’s been my “anchor” and worked.
They sell you awesome sound effects that even my trained ear don’t hear the “loop” (to be fair, I’m not ACTIVELY trying, but usually I hear it without wanting to, and I can no longer enjoy the sound effects). So you can have the same sound on for hours. The particular sound I’ve been using to WILD is called “Back Home”. I discovered on my lunch breaks that this sound, for me anyway, is very soothing and calms me down… but I can’t sleep 100% with it on. So I drift right around that line of conscious/unconscious where you want to be with lucidity.
It dawned on me, let’s play this instead of my own songs and/or binaural beats (which either put me out, or tend to annoy me and keep me VERY much awake). The first try, I had a full fledge, successful WILD. But since then, it’s been a lot of strange false awakenings, that eventually become lucidity. But EACH time, I’ve achieved lucidity. I’ve become spoiled, because I was achieving lucidity once a week before, and that was with nightly work — now I’ve been waiting until the weekend to just attempt a WILD and achieve lucidity that way.
So back to last night… first, a quick “regular” dream…
Snow and Bubblegum
My wife and I walked towards a 2 story building, as whiteness surrounded us. Initially it didn’t seem cold or like snow, but as we approached an embankment that rose up to the balcony on the 2nd story of the building, I realized it was snow. We walked up it a bit, and I grabbed a shovel and started scraping it some to show my wife. Someone said I better be careful or I’d have to shovel it all. Then it started drizzling, so we walked up to the balcony (ironically, I was NOT listening to my sound effect app yet). We made our way under the roof above the balcony.
There, an old black woman with what might have been her grandson were bringing out some of their stuff belongings. I almost want to say they were having to leave because of us, which to some extent is similar to a dream I previously had where an older white couple had to allow my wife and I to use their home and had no say in the matter.
I didn’t get the impression that she was angry or mean, but as we offered help, she turned it down, acknowledging that they weren’t going to be able to help my grandmother move IN, so they didn’t want to bother us.
We walked down a staircase as they left, and I knocked over some books on the stairs. I was embarrassed because I felt people were watching me being clumsy, and I then noticed as we got to the bottom of the staircase that dozens of our friends/acquaintances (mostly, but not entirely, younger friends). Some laughed and made comments about the fact that I was playing with my gum nervously. I’d blow a bubble, pull and stretch it, and snap it. I admitted, “I *really* wanna play with this bubblegum!”
I turned to my wife, who was doing our finances. She was stressed out because we were going to be $50 short this month and she wouldn’t be able to get her birth control. Friends were trying to help us figure out financially what we could do to make up the difference. One encouraged us to moonlight in the medical field.
OSCAR the GROUCH, WILD
So I woke up on my own at 4:00 a.m., when my alarm was set for 4:30 a.m., and I jumped out of bed and just figured if I was already dreaming, I might as well start with the proceedings. I took my supplements, ate some chocolate, and laid down in the closest in my office.
Listening to the above app, with earplugs in my ears (the headphones are large) and a sleep mask covering my eyes, I drifted towards sleep. Perhaps my downfall is I am ATTEMPTED to DO anything. The first time, I merely relaxed, fell asleep, dreamt something, woke up briefly, drifted again, and then was awoken just as my mind was putting my body into sleep paralysis. I used this window to picture myself taking big, bouncing steps, and soon I was walking through the next room.
But last night I laid there, focusing on things. Thoughts shift, and every time I could tell my thoughts were getting abstract, I was interrupting them by focusing on alertness. I’m sure I fell asleep briefly, and either as a false awakening (ie. Dream) or in reality, opened my eyes behind the sleep mask (which you’re not supposed to do, duh), and could see a little light shining through my sleep mask. Upon reflection, it probably was a dream, and I remember pulling down the mask to block the light but it wouldn’t stop shining through.
As I laid there, I suddenly thought to “look” to my left shoulder at the “cat” that I imagined there last time. It worked, and my body began to vibrate. Again, looking back, I was probably already dreaming, and needed this acknowledgement/shift to allow me “in” to the dream. I did this a couple of times, and was in my office.
My sleep mask was still on in the dream, and causing me annoyance. I tried to pull it off, but another one was under that one. My irritation caused the dream to shift. I need to remember to CALM myself, close my eyes and imagine a shift and REMEMBER I’m dreaming.
Again I was laying there, imagining that I had failed but would continue trying. I then was using my computer, and the mouse-scroll had gotten stuck and it was continuously scrolling down, I realized I was dreaming, but couldn’t focus enough to DO anything about it.
FINALLY; After too many of these annoying false awakenings, I was floating above a pool. I knew instantly that I was dreaming. I flew down into the pool and back out. I didn’t want to try anything too complex, because I’ve failed too many times lately. I figured I should just have some fun.
So I flew in and out of the pool. Then I felt confident enough to explore the surroundings a little bit. I held a potted plant to feel the texture, but what should have been a ceramic pot, felt plastic. This irritated me, so I flew back into the pool, but instead of returning to the air, I began flailing downwards, and I woke up.