It has been almost 2 years since my second divorce, and even blogging anonymously about it is embarrassing. But I began to realize that without any record of dreaming, I do not recall my dreams. What’s worse, the meditative and inner work that I have over the last year begun, could only be improved upon by merging my past endeavors (my dream work) with these new ones, but I have mostly had my return to dream work blocked by something internal.
Part of that block comes from (and here’s where the loop begins) my embarrassment and not blogging. So, breaking the circle…
I’ve recalled my dreams over the last few nights, as unproductive as they seemed, and while a few have since been forgotten due to not recording them, here are the ones I remember.
I was talking with some friends about our recently changed belief systems. I was previously in a religious organization for my entire teenage and adult life that encouraged the notion of boogie men and wicked spirits. To some extent, I *may* still believe in unseen beings, “children of the firmament” as it were, but that our work in magick and ritual seemed inconclusively (to me at least) to show it was not as we had been taught to fear.
Months of esoteric practices, and though plenty of internal and exterior progress has been made in a Solve Et Coagula manner of changes, etc., we had never once seen anything that caused us to think ethereal boogie men were set to pounce upon our unsuspecting lives. No books floated or tossed off shelves. No shadowy figures in the night.
In fact, those fears have seemed to all but disappeared. The dream was merely me explaining this to them. When I awoke, I got the chills because it dawned on me that, within a dream, my cocky resolve could have easily been shaken by an impossible dream scenario going sideways. Even within the anything-goes realm of dreaming, my rational mind wasn’t thrown by any bizarre happenings.
No Thing for Sale, No Thing to Fear
I dreamt I was at a sort of Toy & Comic Expo, which I had to pay to get into. It was only two small rooms, and there was hardly anything there. I was upset I had wasted my time and money.
Eventually that became a couple friends (a bearded gentlemen and possibly my mom and some others?) waiting at a nice restaurant. They were seated, but I was left waiting. I grew angrier, but as they ate, I happily stewed and prepped myself for the complaining I was going to do. I asked to see the manager, but it was so busy, by the time things slowed down and people shuffled out, I noticed I had been left all alone in the restaurant.
The lights were turned off, and I was locked in. I fell asleep and was jarred back awake in the dream to a public service announcement over the alarm system about a conman/killer on the loose. This worried me only a little, and I considered setting off the alarm intentionally.
I did, and soon a group of people arrived and I was allowed to leave. I seem to recall one was a police officer and another was a Padre.